Matchmaking has come a long way since the days of yore, when a matchmaker would set up a couple based on their social status and wealth. In today’s digital age, the art of matchmaking has evolved to compete with online and dating apps. One woman at the forefront of this evolution is Susan Dunhoff, a modern matchmaker who has been helping people find love since 1991.
Dunhoff’s approach to matchmaking is rooted in the belief that love is not a numbers game. Instead of relying on algorithms, she takes a personal and holistic approach to finding the right match for her clients. She starts by getting to know each client on a deep level, including their values, interests, and relationship goals. She then uses her extensive network and intuition to find potential matches who align with those goals.
“I think the biggest misconception about matchmaking is that it’s all about setting people up based on superficial things like looks or income,” Susan says. “But it’s so much more than that. It’s about finding someone who truly complements you and will make your life better in the long run.”
Dunhoff’s success rate speaks for itself. She has been responsible for multiple marriages and countless long-term relationships, boasting an 85% success rate. But she’s quick to point out that matchmaking is not a magic solution to finding love. It’s a process that requires effort and commitment from both the matchmaker and the client, with a healthy dose of reality tossed in the mix.
“I always tell my clients that the most important thing they can do is be open-minded and put in the work to make the relationship successful,” she says. “I can only do so much. The rest is up to them.” In a world where dating apps have become the norm and people have become accustomed to instant gratification, Dunhoff’s approach may seem old-fashioned. But she believes that the human touch is what sets her apart from the algorithm-based matchmaking of dating apps.
“Dating apps are great for meeting new people, but they can’t replace the depth of connection that comes from working with a matchmaker,” she says.
Susan’s clients also appreciate the level of privacy and confidentiality she provides. Unlike dating apps, which can be used by anyone and may not always be safe, clients at The Modern Matchmaker are vetted and hand-picked by her. This ensures that they are meeting people who are also serious about finding a long-term relationship.
“I want to help others understand that matchmaking is not just about setting people up on dates,” she says. “It’s about helping people find love and happiness.” We had the opportunity to ask Dunhoff a few questions about matchmaking, love, and dating in today’s world.
Q: What prompted you to start out in the matchmaking industry?
A: I didn’t start this business to find a husband – although I did find one, accidentally – I just really saw a need. I remember being 29, a busy professional with a career in marketing at the time; I didn’t have time to play games. And I knew that there were many more people out there with that same mindset of wanting to find true connection.
Q: How do you find matches for your clients?
A: I of course have my own database of clients from which to pull; we also do scouting though meet-and-greet events, and I network a lot with other matchmakers from different locations. The vast majority of my clients are local but there are a few who travel extensively or have homes in other locations. For them, I can conduct nationwide scouting to help facilitate a match.
Q: What does your typical client look like?
A: My typical client is a cultured, well-rounded professional who enjoys life. No one has to be a model to work with me, or have a certain education background or financial portfolio. A successful individual who takes care of themselves and is ready for a relationship, but needs a little help finding someone who complements their life, is an ideal client at The Modern Matchmaker.
Q: What would you say is the biggest difference between utilizing matchmaking services and using dating apps?
A: There are so many differences! It really comes down to quality over quantity, though. Online dating is great if you want endless “matches” but when you want to know that the person you’re matching with has a good probability of compatibility, matchmaking is far and beyond a better choice. Another thing that I feel really sets this apart is the fact that we do background checks and in-person consultations. I’m not part of a national chain where you’re simply uploading a profile and a stranger reviews it to set you up with a match. I get to know each of my clients on a personal level and am able to pick up on things an algorithm never could.
Q: Do you offer coaching services for clients who may be nervous to date or who have been out of the game for awhile?
A: I don’t currently offering coaching – but I do tell my clients that there is no perfect script for “how to date.” There are many influencers and coaches out there who say, “follow this formula” or “use these lines.” But if you’re committed to being open, honest, and yourself, the other person is going to pick up on that. However, if you go into the date with a persona or facade – eventually that mask is going to come off and the other person is left confused and thinking “who is this?”
Q: What advice do you have for singles who are looking for love?
A: My advice for singles who are looking for love is to be open and honest about what you want. It’s important to be clear about what you are looking for in a partner and to be open to different types of people. You never know who may be perfect for you. And enlist the help of a matchmaker!
To learn more about The Modern Matchmaker and to become a client, visit themodernmatchmaker.com
The Modern Matchmaker’s offices are located at 6301 Forbes Avenue Suite 225, Pittsburgh, by appointment only.
